Thursday, January 15, 2004
it's 5:30a.m. i've woken up a few times in the night. i guess i sleep too much. i'm not having nightmares or anxiety attacks. i went to sleep at 10. i had to end my long day of school with some rest... but before that some kristen kreuk (too bad she's crippled) and some OC. funny thing occurred today in one of my classes. some guy in front of me and some girl behind me were conversating and he spoke about an "OC Party" he attended where everyone was OC-ed out and people dressed ghetto but with designer name brands. and he just kept saying "OC-ed" this and "OC-ed" that. man... i wanted to smack the mother fuck upside the head, take his lacross stick (you see... he plays lacross and is pretty thick... i can still take the pansy... come on... who plays lacross?) and stick it up his ass. i found that very amusing. i still like the show. but damn rich kids racing in their golf carts.
some people just try too hard. the whole conversation between the girl and guy seemed forced. like there was nothing else better to do (the professor was late by like 6 minutes). the girl totally didn't seem interested in the conversation and didn't contribute one bit. the guy just rambled on and on. some people... trying too hard to fit in. don't force it, just let it happen. don't be something your not.
which brings me to my current situation. it seems like i'm trying to force something to happen with *ahem ahem*. okay now... not the first *ahem ahem* that comes to your mind. and not that second one dammit! think hard... anyways... yeah. it feels like i'm being hypocritical by trying so hard. but i guess there are times when you just gotta give it a shot because you have nothing to lose but everything to gain. iono. i need people's thoughts on this. it's really bugging me... i'd hate to be one of those people that are just trying to hard... then again i am being myself (am i?) and i'm not trying to be something i'm not. i need an inside angle to help me in this situation... and i think i've got it. yes! maybe that's why i'm here at this school? lol. confused yet? the key to understanding linear, separable, and exact differential equations and the integrating factor is to look for a function that is disguised as another function's derivative because the integral of a function's derivative is simple, it is nothing but the function's value at the final integrating value minus the initial integrating value. got that? good.
oh, it turns out that being an electrical engineer is my destiny. one of my professors (who personally knows Gordon Moore and Intel CEO Craig Barret and contributed lots to the semi-conductor industry with his research and ideas... i guess that's a perk to going to UCLA... lot's of connections) says you have to be lazy to be a good (electrical) engineer! i was like "that's me! that's me! i'm one of the laziest people you'll meet". he says you have to take every short cut possible to make it. you have to like taking the easy way out. in my mind i'm thinking "yes! i'm going to be such a good engineer... *tear*" lol. there's a lot of people out there that should be engineers...
c l i f f l o v e's thoughts at 6:01:00 AM
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