Friday, February 11, 2005
i miss having someone to talk to for hours on end. i miss having someone to hold. i miss the hugging, kissing and spooning in bed. i miss doing the things you don't want to do when all you want is to sit at home in front of the TV but you do those things anyways because you're with someone special and it'll make them happy and making them happy is all worth it. i miss knowing someone special is right there with you. i miss that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you see that person for the first time in the day even though you were talking to them on the phone for over an hour when they walk in. i miss being afraid of losing that person or being afraid of suddenly leaving that person and then making them sad. i miss missing that person when you have to be away at school. i miss the surprise visits and feeling guilty that that person had to come so far. i miss feeling so good inside knowing that that person would come so far.
i miss all that and more. but i shouldn't be sad over the things i don't have or the things i lost. i should be happy for the things i have.
but, that was all that i ever had...
i'm sorry i took everything for granted. i guess in the end i'm where i'm supposed to be.
c l i f f l o v e's thoughts at 1:00:00 AM
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Wednesday, February 09, 2005
here are some inspirational words. i'm going to try and give up cussing and i will start going to church again.... maybe.
This week we begin the annual season of conversion with the imposition of ashes on wed. It's a time of turning from so that we might begin turning to - turning from what ultimately is self-destructive in order to turn to what makes us whole. And like a big aircraft carrier on the ocean, turning is something we do slowly. That's why it's good to have this extended period of forty days every year. We want to take advantage of this time of grace that shakes us from where we are and brings us to where God wants us to be." (In response to an article in the NY Times about an aircraft carrier that was created primarily as a platform for weapons that became, momentarily, a means of healing and a sign of hope as it left the area hit by the tsunami after the first phase of the relief efforts.)
All Fridays of Lent are days of abstinence from meat; Ash Wed and Good Friday are days of fast and abstinence. Abstinence from meat means not eating the flesh of warm-blooded animals. It is for all Catholics "who have completed their 14th year" and it applies to all adults "up to the beginning of their 60th year." Fasting means having only one full meal with 2 smaller meals not equal to the one main meal and eating nothing in between; the age of fasting is from the completion of the 18th year to the beginning of the 60th. Both these practices are ways of letting us remember that Lent means thinking less of ourselves and dedicating more to others, especially the needy, and to God.
-Fr. Martin
c l i f f l o v e's thoughts at 7:05:00 PM
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Monday, February 07, 2005
i walk a lonely road
the only one that i have ever known
don't know where it goes
but it's home to me and i walk alone
i walk this empty street
on the boulevard of broken dreams
where the city sleeps
and i'm the only one and i walk alone
my shadow's the only one that walks beside me
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
until then i walk alone
c l i f f l o v e's thoughts at 4:11:00 AM
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let's keep things simple here...
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...keep it real
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